Of all our drives, sexuality seems to be by far the most problematic one, both internally and socially. Mysterious and unexplainably pleasurable to the child, it is also highly regulated and monitored by the powers that be, creating a high degree of tension, discomfort, worry and discord for the self. And to com- plicate things further, the brain’s sexual development, and that of the body, are not alw in synch, causing even more confusion and distress, especially given the aura of fear surrounding any deviations from gender related cultural norms.
Who we feel we are as subjects of gender and desire is based on complex physiologies of brain and endo- crine systems which determine the feel of who our bodies are and react. We will examine the LUST circuit, one of our seven primary affective drives in all its complexities, paying special attention to the interplay of sexual urges with the other drives which can help, hinder or substitute for them.
We are the only species that overlays the demands of our bodies with speech and other symbolisms, giving culture a way to manipulate, control and often warp and distort our true nature. Sexuality and gender must have the potential for being deeply disruptive, given the huge amount of energy marshaled to surpress their awareness and expression. The feminine aspect of our selves has suffered the most oppression, leading to an imbalance that in turn has perverted expressions of the masculine.
We want to develop a feel for the many levels of dislocations, alienations from the true sexual/gendered self that our patients experience, both as part of their general relational and cultural trauma, as well as due to the many ways that related life erodes the sexual drive. Original full body and mind experiences lurk, forgotten yet not erased, in our unconscious, available to help us reconnect to this essential drive in its entirety.
All of this matters because it helps us work with Lacan’s dilemma: “there is no such thing as a sexual relationship”, and yet having one is one of our chief pursuits. How can we have satisfactory expression of this part of ourselves? How much does it matter in the total economy of our happiness, and how may that relate to Eriksonian and Jungian stages of development?